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Remember the school playground bullies who terrorized the smaller kids? Some of them successfully climbed corporate ladders and continue terrorizing others on bigger playgrounds, using more subtle psychological weapons. Unlike in the days on the playground, they often have the support of the hierarchy.

Nancy worked for years under an abusive boss, until he finally fired her. At first, she felt devastated. Now, she’s thankful that she found a position with a decent respectful boss.

When Nancy recently encountered an old coworker named Bob, she experienced a flash of unpleasant memories: the headaches, constant tension, and the overwhelming fear. She felt bad to learn that Bob was still under the bosses fist, and was shocked to see how terrible and exhausted he looked. This is for Bob and anyone else stuck in an unbearable situation. Here are five steps to get out of an abusive workplace.

1) Internal acceptance. Since quitting immediately without another job lined up, is seldom an option, practice accepting your present situation. Say, “This is the perfect place for me to learn what I need to learn in life.” You can’t afford to waste your precious energy hating your job. Externally, you may still lobby for change: stand up for yourself, document abuse with human resources, quit taking it personally, set boundaries with the boss and/or restructure duties so you’ll have less contact, or otherwise creatively restructure the work environment.

2) Find the lessons. Take time to assess what you learned from this experience, and write down at least three lessons. Should you have: Gotten promises in writing? Asked more detailed questions before taking the job? Researched the company’s reputation? Sought out former employees? Writing down the lessons will help you keep from repeating mistakes.

3) Get support! Whether it be from a career counselor or trusted friends (or both), you absolutely need to have someone standing beside you. This is no time to stubbornly do it alone with the office bully pounding away at your self-esteem. You need external validation of your abilities and so forth. This doesn’t mean have “ain’t it awful” gripe sessions. It means finding positive people who encourage you to go for it and risk change.

4) Visualization. Continually visualize the ideal situation you would like. What kind of work would you do? What type of people would you work with? Describe your work environment, allowing your visualization to be as detailed as possible. Our mind has tremendous power to outwardly manifest the images it carries within whether uplifting or depressing.

5) Take massive action. Carefully plan your next steps (without getting bogged down in planning), then take massive action. This could include:
Taking a stopgap job, even if it means a temporary pay cuts
Networking with as many people as possible.
Taking courses to improve your competitive edge.
Get training to interview more effectively.
Enhancing your image with a new set of clothes.
Personal growth training or communication training to improve your effectiveness.

With the serenity of internal acceptance, support from your friends and/or career coach, a strong visualization of your goal, precautions from your lessons, and persistent massive action, nothing can stop you.